God is a Good Behaviorist

So in my theories of counseling class we are learning about the cognitive behaviorists. You probably know them as Skinner or Pavlov (of Pavlov's dogs). The ideas they have about humans is that our thoughts or emotions don't really matter. What matters most is the fact that we have outward behaviors that can be changed.

Well within this learning theory are the terms fixed ratio, fixed interval, variable interval and variable ratio. These put into terms the response we expect to get from a specific event. An example of  a fixed ratio is putting money in a vending machine. You put in your 75 cents and you get back a bag of chips. A fixed interval is every Friday getting a paycheck. You know it's coming and you can expect it.

So where does God come in? Our prayer, us asking God for things, is on a variable ratio. We ask for things and our prayers are not answered every time. Do you remember the last time you put money in a vending machine and it didn't give you any food in return? Most of us, what do we do? We walk away. We certainly don't try to put more money in. We know that we put our money in and we should get our chips and when that doesn't happen the system is broken. Well it goes the same for prayer. If God answered our prayers every single time we would just expect it. Then the one time it didn't happen we would immediately leave and not ask for anything from Him ever again. But because it's on a variable ratio we keep asking and keep checking back and keep praying.

My professor talked about this in class and I was amazed. Sometimes it amazes me how God so deeply knows the inner workings of our mind.

Experiment Gone Bad

So I tried my chocolate oatmeal experiment and let me say it was not successful. I cooked it according to other people's suggestions and recipes but it was really bitter. I even sweetened it with no-calorie sweetener but to no avail. Some of the recipes recommended cooking it with milk instead of water so maybe that would have helped the bitterness of it? Here's the picture of it.  I decided to put apples in with it which turned out to be the only good part of this whole experiment.

This is it cooking in the pot. It looks good- kind of like no bake cookies but let me tell you that is not what it tastes like. I'll have to do some more experimentation, but not when I'm hungry for breakfast. 

The Holidays

I heard my first Christmas song this morning. It was a total accident as I don't like to listen to Christmas music before at least a week before Thanksgiving. But it happened. It was Santa Baby the Kellie Pickler version. Not my first choice but nevertheless I think it may have gotten me a little more ready for the holidays. In just 9 days I get to fly to Atlanta on one of the busiest travel days of the year. This is then followed by a family road trip to Valdosta where we proceed to eat enough food to feed a small army. Between my brothers, my dad, my uncle and his 3 sons we can put some food away.

To personally celebrate I will be watching You've Got Mail approximately 4 times before Thanksgiving. It's got some fall in it, some Christmas and some Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks love going on. My roommate recently bought it for me cause she knows it's my favorite movie. She rocks.

For now I leave you with this quote from the movie. It sums up what I've been thinking about lately plus my love of books.

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void. - Kathleen Kelly when writing to NY152

Oatmeal Creativity

So I've been on an oatmeal kick lately. I have always loved oatmeal- but I usually get the instant kind (strawberries and cream to be exact). But I've since switched to regular oatmeal that you cook over the stove. It's healthy (depending on what you add to it), it's cheap and it's fairly easy. It is definitely not as quick as instant but I really love that I have control over what I eat and how I start my day.

I definitely cannot do the plain oatmeal with a little honey in it- it's not enough flavor in the morning and it reminds me that I'm eating a healthy cheap breakfast. On pinterest I recently saw a recipe for apple pie oatmeal. I don't use all the ingredients but it opened my eyes to the idea that you can have more flavor in your oatmeal. With this recipe, you put the apple and cinnamon in with the oatmeal- so by the time it's done you've got baked apples flavored with cinnamon then I add a little honey and I'm off to a healthy breakfast!

I recently saw an idea for chocolate oatmeal with cocoa powder. The recipe calls for sugar but I read that if you add zero calorie sweetener instead it adds great flavor as well.

I'm going to try this asap- getting a little chocolate fix in the morning is never a bad thing!

Monster

I just finished reading Monster  by Frank Peretti. He's a Christian author that writes thrillers. Yes, those two sound contradictory in my opinion. But I got the book as a gift so I figured I'd give it a shot.

The book was a quick, easy read but definitely kept my interest the whole time. Peretti uses his Christian influence to talk about evolution some and it's really interesting how subtly he shows his Christian influence.

It didn't scare me- which was good. I was a little worried about that, but it definitely had some thrilling moments. For this genre of Christian thriller I really enjoyed it. I probably won't buy another book by him just because it's not my type but if I was given him as a gift or could rent it from the library then I would read it. I've heard his other one, This Present Darkness is even better.

So that's my review of that one. I'm currently reading Jane Eyre which I love love love so get ready for that review shortly. I'm currently flying through it but still trying to savor it all at the same time. Readers know what I mean.

Fall Break

I did not know I would need fall break as much as I did. I got refreshed and replenished and full on relationships that matter so much to me. It's hard to maintain relationships long distance but I really care about those people in Georgia so it's worth it! I got to see Dana and my family and meet all of Dana's new friends! I also got to babysit for my favorite 6 year old in the whole world- Grace.

While I was at home my grandmother passed away. I went to the funeral Friday. I got to see lots of family, which I love doing. When my dad and his brothers and sisters are together they start telling crazy stories of stuff they did when they were younger or stuff their cousins did. Growing up in a small town in South Georgia means their stories are always funny and so unlike my childhood growing up in suburban Atlanta.

But with my grandmother passing away I realized death makes you selfish because you're left thinking about the ways you'll miss them in your life. I'm sad she won't be at my wedding, that I won't be able to call her for cooking advice and that the big farmhouse isn't something I can visit anymore and see the pictures everywhere of my family. After my grandfather died two years ago she missed him so much and I know she's done with that suffering now so for that I'm thankful. But I miss her and will continue to selfishly wish she were around just for the love and support she always showed me. I was her only granddaughter and she was so proud of me. But I know she's in a better place and fully healed so I'm thankful for that peace.

ATL Bound

Last night I bought a plane ticket so I could go home for fall break!! Get this- the cost of the ticket was the same price as gas for the trip there and back- and I don't lose almost 20 hours in the car in the next week by driving. Hooray for airplanes- plus I don't travel much so I think airports and flying are uber cool.
I'm already thinking of what book to load up to my Kindle so I can hope to look as cool as I feel.
My only plans next week are to hang out with Dana, bake, eat lunch with Grace at school and possibly go to Wesley on Wednesday.
This has the potential to be the best fall break ever. I'm just saying.

A Visual

Here's the picture of this aforementioned touchdown

9 points... that is the only reason why this matters. Girl TDs are worth 9 points and guy TDs are only worth 6.

Flag Footballin'

Our team name is Freud's Friends and it's not particularly my favorite because it makes us out to be psychological nerds. I mean even if we are we don't have to go around telling everybody about it, right? 

Actually I have a great example of how we truly are mind nerds. My friend Ben and I were leaving our flag football came a couple of weeks ago and a guy from another team was talking to us and letting us know about other teams in the league and what they do and don't do, etc. But this guy was a talker. I mean like the one that repeats himself five different times saying the same thing. So I started walking away ever so slowly and trying to turn my body- giving him the nonverbal hint that I'm done here and ready to leave. I was trying to give the subtle body turn that says, "I'm no longer interested in what you have to say, please let me leave." He was not, however getting the hint. 

Long story short, eventually I got to go home. But then two weeks later, Ben brought up the fact that he noticed I was subtly walking away and using nonverbal cues to indicate that I was ready to go. He noticed my psychological attempt to end a drawn on conversation and we talked about it and thought it was so interesting that guy didn't get those same cues. (He was a lawyer so maybe that explains it?)

I guess since we are unabashedly psych folks we might as well have a name like Freud's Friends so people know who they're messing with. Most of the other teams identify themselves as law, with names like "Motion Denied" and "Power of A Tourney". 

Oh and since we're on the topic of football... Saturday I scored the game winning touchdown. Second overtime, fourth down and our QB passes it to me in the end zone. Since girl TDs are worth 9 points we successfully put that team away. One of my teammates was so excited he almost tackled me in the end zone. It looks like the glory days of high school football for guys are just beginning for me. Yes- you can pray for humility for me.

Lazy Saturdays

I'm going to a play tonight at Regent with my friend Andy. It's about a girl that hires a guy to be her boyfriend just to please her parents. I'm excited because the theater is beautiful and I'll really feel like a student. Currently though I'm home watching the UT UF game- hoping the Vols win cause that's how great my dislike is for Florida.

It's the kind of day where I can't help but watch football and eat a hot baked potato because it's just a rainy lazy day.

I did have a little adventure today though. I need cleats for my flag football team (which I'm the only girl on btw) so I went to craigslist. Since living here my roommates and I have gotten a bookshelf, a free outside porch swing & a dog (yes that is correct a dog).

I found a great pair of men's cleats size 9, drove to the place to get them only to realize I forgot my cash. Who does that?! Well after driving to the ATM then driving back I came away successful and all ready to gear up for Wednesday's big game. And by game I mean law guys trying to relive the glory days by taking this really seriously. Should be fun... I'll let you know how much I don't play

Things I Love

a. Going back here for spring break

b. customizing my new computer 

c. learning in general, currently about Windows 7 features

d. netflix

e. spending a lazy Friday morning on the computer, with the Lord, preparing my Jamaica devotion

Cooking For Real

I will be cooking this lovely dinner tonight. By myself. Dana is gone now and I'll be here braving it alone. I actually am looking forward to cooking this but it's going to be difficult. I have to make roux which I've never done before. And I don't have a Dutch oven (that's a really expensive one) Which I really want now for several reasons. They distribute heat evenly to what you're cooking because they are made of cast iron AND they come in a variety of colors. How fun is that? I think I want the cherry red Le Creuset one, in my dreams. In real life this one would suit me just fine.

Well here's to trying new meals and hopefully having lots of leftover gumbo to freeze for those cold February days.

Paparazzi

So I saw my neighbor on the tv the other day. That's right I saw her on a commercial for Taqueria del Sol. Then when I saw her today walking her dogs I asked her... Do you happen to be in a commercial for Taqueria del Sol?

She replies "Why yes I was. You live next to someone famous. If you happen to see the paparazzi swarming the place now you know why."

I just laughed at her and told her I'd be on the lookout. Her confidence about it was so funny. Apparently they asked her. She and her friend go so much that the people over there on Prince asked her to be in the commercial AND she got a gift card out of the deal.

I need to become a regular somewhere just for this.

Last Resort here I come.

The Hunger Games Trilogy

This whole review written by Hope so perfectly summarizes how I felt after finishing the final book.

Hope rated it 

Shelves: 2010-list, best-characters, bittersweet, dystopian-utopian, made-me-cry, reviewed,thought-provoking, young-adult

I’m never very good at predicting outcomes. Nothing I could’ve predicted would have been quite as good as this. Although I did get close (a very distant "close") on a few things, and I was right in saying that it wouldn’t be walking through a field of flowers and sunshine. 

A book like this just couldn’t be. 

It's good, and yet not good. Because it’s good in a very heartbreaking, chilling, haunting, intense way. 

Katniss is a different person from the first two books. I found her softer, more thoughtful, and also more open (granted, she's still kind of a brat sometimes. But don't we all have our moments?). In the first two books, even though the story is told by her, she’s very closed off with us. This book is filled with more emotion, and I liked her best in this book, even though it's a tragedy of sorts. 

As I’m stewing over the novel I read every word of yesterday, I think, “Did I reallylove it?” And then, “How could I love it?” I shake my head. I can’t love something so terribly sad and at times grotesque. Something so painful. 

Truthfully, I don’t think I loved it. Love isn’t the right word. It was a fantastic novel. I don't think I can come up with any better way for a trilogy of this kind to come to a close. The perfect note of sadness and sweetness, pain and healing all mixed up in a jumble. This book was far more severe than the first two. Much harder to read, and with more emotional depth, I think. Sometimes I just had to close the book for a while and breathe because I needed to stop for a bit, to regroup myself so I could get through a certain part. 

Collins wove in a few questions to ponder. Where do you draw the line? Do you give just what you got? Should you show mercy to those who haven’t shown mercy to you? Is it right to kill innocent people just because the leaders on their side of the line killed innocent people on your side? 

Contrary to what some believe, this is not an anti-war book. Actually, I think Collins is trying to get us to ask ourselves questions about what justifies war, and where the line should be drawn between justice and vengeance. Not that we shouldn't fight, but that we know what's worth fighting for. 

Several notable characters die. It’s painful, and it hurts to read it. Some believe that these characters didn’t get enough homage. But since this is told from first-person, maybe it’s just too painful for Katniss to dwell on those deaths. 

The last three pages make all the heavy, intense, painfulness of the rest of the book almost worth it, in a strange way. Bittersweet is the perfect word. The sense of loss underlying the message that life really does goes on, even when we don’t see how it possibly can. 
Sometimes we need a little help to pick ourselves off the floor and start again. 

I wasn’t disappointed with the ending, but I am disappointed that it’s the end. It left me feeling emotionally drained and like I'd lost something. I'm not sure if I'm shell-shocked or simply worn out by the intensity of it all. I'm glad, in a way, that it ended like it did. I'm also sad, and a little confused. Not because I didn't like the ending, but because I simply feel emptied out for the time being. 

I just wish...I wish that there could have been more happiness for these characters that I love so much. I think that unfulfilled wish is, at the end of the day, why I'm feeling this way right now. In time the feeling will pass, I know, but at the moment I'm sorry for it. No matter how I enjoyed this book (and I did, I really did), I'm in a sort of grieving state. Happiness was there in the end, but it just wasn't enough to compensate for all the sadness. 
Then again, I think that was the point. 

It’s a very rare thing to find a trilogy like this one, and I’ll always hold a place in my heart for the girl who was on fire. 

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7260188-mockingjay

*bold added

Until I read this I couldn't truly and fully appreciate this book. I didn't understand why I felt, what Hope describes by writing "I'm not sure if I'm shell-shocked or simply worn out by the intensity of it all."

In the end I don't think I could really had as enjoyable of a snow day (week) if it wasn't for this series. I would recommend them with a warning that you should clear out sometime in your schedule and your heart to get wrapped up in this story.